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Motormouth From Ipoh

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Manjung Coconut Jelly/Joez Coconut Jelly - A Father & Son's Empire

#Disclaimer : Beware the insanity that follows ..... everything's completely fictional, and Motormouth has NOT gone bonkers. Take it with a pinch of salt. Right until the very end. #

“After too many Slippery Nipples the night before, I woke up with a massive hangover and was extremely late for an important meeting. In my haste, I found myself clad in nothing but a pair of daisy-print boxers in front of a board of CEOs.”

Da Much Feared, Much Worshipped Board of CEO's ... Coconut jElly of Orgasmic proportion.

Cumming Coming to da office at an EXTREMELY late hour had me shaken (not stirred) in my boots, pants and all. Moreso when facin' the almighty, "sacred lords" codenamed CEO's, all 11 of them at one go. They probably don't have nothing better to do than holding meetings day in day out, at an alarming frequency.

P/S : On a side note, that last line bears some truth in it, categorized as NON-fiction. LOL. But anyway .....

All hail Tai Kor #1

Nobody messes with the sandals-wearing, carrying TWO pair of glasses at any one time (in case sparks fly between opposing clans/tribes ... you'll never know) and the habit of scoopin'-them- brain-juices-out-of-the-skulls-into-me-mouth TAI KOR #1.

TAI KOR #1 : Ahem ahem .... ahem. Soooo yer gonna waltz in so the very late oledi, N gimme some cranky cerita about Slipper-Nipples eh? Very the daring this padawan. Ahem, I mean, young one. N very the unrespectful to the elderly, NOT me, I'm still young & hung hunk, but the other 11 CEO's on the board. I meant, table. Yer eyez cannot see that they're already fumin'/blisterin/far ....... ting MAD ah?!

Swallowing my pride, and protecting da very exclusive family jewels from overly shrivelling due to air-cond blasting at full force (ya know we Malaysians ... tarak winter, so kena buat pirated copy of the climate in office) and still clad in da daisy-print boxers. But wait, was it MY fault that I was in a boxer (with daisy da FLOWER-prints! NOT Daisy Duck prints, ok!) in the first place?

Wait, was it even MY doing?!!!!

Suddenly the clouds parted ways, the haze/mist became clear, truth prevailed ... yadda yadda. I was drugged! Not by any means of the opiate kind, mind you. It's a Slippery Nipples of da most intoxicating kind !!!! (cue : OooooHHHHH ..... with dat suspenseful-revelations tone)

It was Mr Mathy all along!

Just look at the hundreds and thousands of coconuts stacked in the fridge, awaiting to be transformed into the gang of ze EVIL CEO's !!!! Masquerading themselves at night as Slippery Nipples (no Sambuca, no Irish Cream for sure!), the milky, whitish (don't get naughty ideas) shades of the inner walls of the coconuts, resembling da most delicious drink in da world named colostrum-fuelled mother's breast milk.

But wait, I remembered some substance. Some springy, jelly-like (again, DON'T be getting farny farny idea, I tell u), smooth materials that glided down my throat. Tasted like refreshing coconut water, without much enhancers (no sugar, no salt, no pepper (duh) and no artificial flavouring/colouring/preservatives!)

Wait, Mr Mathy's Manjung Jelly notwithstanding, he actually got a partner-in-crime!!!! His very own loyal & filial SON from Joez Coconut Jelly!

Oh dear. Not once was I tricked devilishly by the coconut jelly empire. The father (not Darth, but Mathy) had me enticed, intoxicated and lulled into several big coconut jellies in Manjung in Perak. But in Penang, the son named Joel @ Joe (alter egos are omnipresent on ze face of ze earth!) knew that I was as easy as pie to be duped/tricked/drunk on da coconut jellies !!!

Then my mind suddenly rewind itself back to that fateful afternoon ...... ze violent chopping/slashing motion got me hypnotized/terrified/terrorized all at the same time!

Aiyo, I tell u, the coconut jellies from both places (Manjung Jelly's the original supplier hence deemed as ze MAIN culprit) were equally intoxicating! Even of higher addictiveness than a 70% bottle of alcohol/ethanol!! Wait ... that doesn't sound right .....

Especially when our dearest old country's in a heated turmoil now, what's more with fingers pointing up,down,left,right and people dying for NO reason (and supposedly.... horrifyingly ..... no foul play. Ahem).

A refreshing, RM3 (in Manjung)/RM3.50 (in Penang) 'biji' of Coconut Jelly is all we need, to forget the material world for one second, and relish in our existence in this world! YAY !!!! Embrace the Coconut Jelly, People !!!!

See the transaction above?! They're EVILS! and the Tag line !! No wonder I was duped. Me being IQ of less than 40 and all ........ very tricky people these ones.

Wait, so that was how I got drunk the other night, from a severe case of coconut jelly-overdose. A rare disease this one, even House nor Grey's Anatomy people (wait, the latter only were good at screwing around .....) could never decipher a clinical findings as obscure as mine.

To even reach the extent of terrorizing-ly hypnotized yours truly to unwillingly wear a pair of shame-shame daisy-print boxers all the way to work, all the while polluting the horny minds of ze little people on the streets along the way.

Refreshing, cooling and addictive. Call now to be enticed .....

The above story was no thanks all thanks to Bangsar-Babe for passing around the torch. Or tag, originating from Thamby .... oops, Lemongrass herself. =P

The Coconut Jelly are branded under the banner of Manjung Jelly, all thanks to the innovative/creative/entrepreneurial ideas of a humble Mr Mathy. This brilliant idea of his came to fruition about 2 years ago, and still is a project under the watchful eyes of FAMA.

He's not sitting at home shaking his legs though. NO sirree .... He's perpetually on the run, even sending/exporting the product himself, to all over Malaysia. Currently his son, Mr. Joel @ Joe is helming a shop in Penang's Jalan Dato Keramat (the other Penang floggers have gave adequate reviews and publicity to Joez Coconut up north), and he's even exporting them over the boundaries, to Singapore.

Producing and selling off in excess of about 500-800 coconut jellies per day, he's mass-producing the delightful dessert at his shop in Manjung, which not unlike Joez Coconut in Penang, offers tables and seats for those wanting to savour their jellies or coconut drinks there and then.

If you're wondering, what's the BIG fuss about some simple coconut jelly that even the average layman can make? You're wrong. Note that the jelly is not formed outside of the shell. But instead, the jelly is 'injected' INTO the coconut which is still intact, using a specific method utilizing machineries. Then under the extreme low temperature, the jelly is formed WITH the coconut water inside of the young coconut. Almost like a science tutorial, eh? :)

Location : MAE Tendernut Jelly aka Manjung Jelly @ 45, Persiaran PM 2/3, Pusat Bandar Seksyen 2, 32040 Seri Manjung, Perak. Opens daily from 9am til 7pm. Tel No : 605-688 5654 or 6019-416 6603 (Mathy)

Location : Joez Enterprise aka Joez Coconut @ 201, Jalan Dato Kramat, 10150 Pulau Pinang. H/P No : 6016-440 9049. E-mail :

## Now for ze most evil deed ever known to mankind (in the blogosphere, at least) ... I'm passing this tag to ... Unkaleong! Yeahlah, I know you're BUSY and all, but nah ... too bad! ##

" As Thorny spoke to the Stinky, let's fight to da finish, and see who in ze end, got da Sloppy! Wrestle we will, dropkick/elbowdrop and all, spells we shall cast upon all who stand in our ways ..... but me wanna see da BEST man WINS! "


~Christine~Leng said...

nice elaboration and write up about the coconut! haha..

Reanaclaire said...

i took a lot of durians today.. should hv bought some coconuts earlier ... now too late.. 11.16pm.. ipoh is sleeping now,..

ai wei said...

great write up!
coconut is great on these hot and warm days. :)

Rebecca Saw said...

Yea yea, keep him busy! ;p
I'm sure he's more than happy to pick up yr tag. Kekeke..

These coco jelly are great aitelyu, esp on hot days like these blardy few days..
Got to contact Joel again, whr the branch he promised us in KL??

Big Boys Oven said...

just love them very original coconut jelly, I have seen recentlt others following producing simlar thingy at a trade fair but fail to give out such a sensational feeling like the this one! :) great write up!

kevinchungx said...

Yumm... i love eating jelly very much, it's simply Q..:p
Hmmm, coconut jelly, must be very yummy^^

UnkaLeong said...

*waves fist and international peace sign at J2KFM*

backStreetGluttons said...

we have tried one such jelly in Ayer Tawar , Perak some 15 months ago from a shop here by an Indian lady ( dunno whether related ) but din really notice any sparks. Now that you have mentioned it , we have to recheck to see if its the same horror team responsible for your exciting high heaven !

J2Kfm said...

Christine : a little too exaggerated I know. but all thanks to that tag thingie ...

reanaclaire : hehe, reminded me of a BAD durian experience yday. Mum was fuming mad, cheated not once, but twice by the same peddler.

ai wei : how true. there are two more stashed in my fridge. slurpi-licious stuff.

TNG : I think they're sending them to KL for some time now. Call Mathy, since the father does all the exporting.
and I'm sure Unka's not THAT glad .... =P

BBO : true. imitations may be best form of flattery, but an insult to the real deal.

kevin : indeed. it's almost like devouring coconut water, but with some jelly for extra oomph. not too sweet, just right.

Unkaleong : uh oh ... and I got the international version of the peace sign? hehehe ....

BSG : the lady could've gotten the coconut jelly from the same supplier, or not. the jelly's almost watery, unlike the usual harder texture.

allie said...

Nowadays more and more copycat of this coconut jelly available in PG and mainland. Some are selling at cheap price just RM 2.50.Joez coconut is getting lots of publicity from lots of bloggers :)

J2Kfm said...

allie : cheaper the imitators? darn ... that sure will be attract even more of Joez's customers, wont it?

Anonymous said...

even a coconut jelly can be elaborated such lenghty post....salute to you!!! btw, maybe i english is bad....can't understand most of your write up

worldwindows said...

Heard so much but yet to try. Until I am at the right place....

thule a.k.a leo said...

way to go j2kfm! Love how you managed to do the writeup :)

Anonymous said...

is it in s'pore already?! after tasting it in penang, i was joking to my kids that i should bring it into singapore as a biz...

J2Kfm said...

Anonymous : really? don't worry bout the upper half of the post. they're all blabbered nonsense, to answer the viral TAG thingy from Bangsar Babe. :)

worldwindows : go to Penang, or Manjung for a try. but there are supplies in KL now.

thule : all rambling nonsense? :) ahahahh ... what i do best.

anonymous : heard from Mr Mathy that they're trying to apply to bring them in, and succeeded, however as the jelly does not contain preservatives, it's rather hard to transport them that far. hence he's working on a suitable mean of transportation.

jason said...

Eh Tai Kor #2, how didja manage to write so much just about coconut jelly eh??

Btw, thanks for offering one to me the other day. ;) Interesting stuff.

Ciki said...

ROFL .. very nicely done j2kfm.. my my.. i didn't know you had such a large sense of humor:P

the coconut looks tender and juicy!
something i wld lk to drink aftr my run 2day:D

great tag. good lark, 'man from unka'.. chor gonna need it:P

J2Kfm said...

jason : amazing right? guess i was in unsound mind when doing this. over the wkend. hehehe ...

cumi & ciki : large? nah ... wei cannot drink lah.they're jelly. slurp ok lah ...

Anonymous said...

It was rather interesting for me to read that article. Thanx for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read more soon.

Shan said...

Good news for the resident of Puchong , PJ & surrounding areas. Manjung Jelly is now available in Puchong. Pls contact Govindan @ 012-2685837
Those who are interested in selling Coconut Jelly may also ring me.