Manjung Coconut Jelly/Joez Coconut Jelly - A Father & Son's Empire

#Disclaimer : Beware the insanity that follows ..... everything's completely fictional, and Motormouth has NOT gone bonkers. Take it with a pinch of salt. Right until the very end. #

“After too many Slippery Nipples the night before, I woke up with a massive hangover and was extremely late for an important meeting. In my haste, I found myself clad in nothing but a pair of daisy-print boxers in front of a board of CEOs.”

Da Much Feared, Much Worshipped Board of CEO's ... Coconut jElly of Orgasmic proportion.

Cumming Coming to da office at an EXTREMELY late hour had me shaken (not stirred) in my boots, pants and all. Moreso when facin' the almighty, "sacred lords" codenamed CEO's, all 11 of them at one go. They probably don't have nothing better to do than holding meetings day in day out, at an alarming frequency.

P/S : On a side note, that last line bears some truth in it, categorized as NON-fiction. LOL. But anyway .....

All hail Tai Kor #1

Nobody messes with the sandals-wearing, carrying TWO pair of glasses at any one time (in case sparks fly between opposing clans/tribes ... you'll never know) and the habit of scoopin'-them- brain-juices-out-of-the-skulls-into-me-mouth TAI KOR #1.

TAI KOR #1 : Ahem ahem .... ahem. Soooo yer gonna waltz in so the very late oledi, N gimme some cranky cerita about Slipper-Nipples eh? Very the daring this padawan. Ahem, I mean, young one. N very the unrespectful to the elderly, NOT me, I'm still young & hung hunk, but the other 11 CEO's on the board. I meant, table. Yer eyez cannot see that they're already fumin'/blisterin/far ....... ting MAD ah?!

Swallowing my pride, and protecting da very exclusive family jewels from overly shrivelling due to air-cond blasting at full force (ya know we Malaysians ... tarak winter, so kena buat pirated copy of the climate in office) and still clad in da daisy-print boxers. But wait, was it MY fault that I was in a boxer (with daisy da FLOWER-prints! NOT Daisy Duck prints, ok!) in the first place?

Wait, was it even MY doing?!!!!

Suddenly the clouds parted ways, the haze/mist became clear, truth prevailed ... yadda yadda. I was drugged! Not by any means of the opiate kind, mind you. It's a Slippery Nipples of da most intoxicating kind !!!! (cue : OooooHHHHH ..... with dat suspenseful-revelations tone)

It was Mr Mathy all along!

Just look at the hundreds and thousands of coconuts stacked in the fridge, awaiting to be transformed into the gang of ze EVIL CEO's !!!! Masquerading themselves at night as Slippery Nipples (no Sambuca, no Irish Cream for sure!), the milky, whitish (don't get naughty ideas) shades of the inner walls of the coconuts, resembling da most delicious drink in da world named colostrum-fuelled mother's breast milk.

But wait, I remembered some substance. Some springy, jelly-like (again, DON'T be getting farny farny idea, I tell u), smooth materials that glided down my throat. Tasted like refreshing coconut water, without much enhancers (no sugar, no salt, no pepper (duh) and no artificial flavouring/colouring/preservatives!)

Wait, Mr Mathy's Manjung Jelly notwithstanding, he actually got a partner-in-crime!!!! His very own loyal & filial SON from Joez Coconut Jelly!

Oh dear. Not once was I tricked devilishly by the coconut jelly empire. The father (not Darth, but Mathy) had me enticed, intoxicated and lulled into several big coconut jellies in Manjung in Perak. But in Penang, the son named Joel @ Joe (alter egos are omnipresent on ze face of ze earth!) knew that I was as easy as pie to be duped/tricked/drunk on da coconut jellies !!!

Then my mind suddenly rewind itself back to that fateful afternoon ...... ze violent chopping/slashing motion got me hypnotized/terrified/terrorized all at the same time!

Aiyo, I tell u, the coconut jellies from both places (Manjung Jelly's the original supplier hence deemed as ze MAIN culprit) were equally intoxicating! Even of higher addictiveness than a 70% bottle of alcohol/ethanol!! Wait ... that doesn't sound right .....

Especially when our dearest old country's in a heated turmoil now, what's more with fingers pointing up,down,left,right and people dying for NO reason (and supposedly.... horrifyingly ..... no foul play. Ahem).

A refreshing, RM3 (in Manjung)/RM3.50 (in Penang) 'biji' of Coconut Jelly is all we need, to forget the material world for one second, and relish in our existence in this world! YAY !!!! Embrace the Coconut Jelly, People !!!!

See the transaction above?! They're EVILS! and the Tag line !! No wonder I was duped. Me being IQ of less than 40 and all ........ very tricky people these ones.

Wait, so that was how I got drunk the other night, from a severe case of coconut jelly-overdose. A rare disease this one, even House nor Grey's Anatomy people (wait, the latter only were good at screwing around .....) could never decipher a clinical findings as obscure as mine.

To even reach the extent of terrorizing-ly hypnotized yours truly to unwillingly wear a pair of shame-shame daisy-print boxers all the way to work, all the while polluting the horny minds of ze little people on the streets along the way.

Refreshing, cooling and addictive. Call now to be enticed .....

The above story was no thanks all thanks to Bangsar-Babe for passing around the torch. Or tag, originating from Thamby .... oops, Lemongrass herself. =P

The Coconut Jelly are branded under the banner of Manjung Jelly, all thanks to the innovative/creative/entrepreneurial ideas of a humble Mr Mathy. This brilliant idea of his came to fruition about 2 years ago, and still is a project under the watchful eyes of FAMA.

He's not sitting at home shaking his legs though. NO sirree .... He's perpetually on the run, even sending/exporting the product himself, to all over Malaysia. Currently his son, Mr. Joel @ Joe is helming a shop in Penang's Jalan Dato Keramat (the other Penang floggers have gave adequate reviews and publicity to Joez Coconut up north), and he's even exporting them over the boundaries, to Singapore.

Producing and selling off in excess of about 500-800 coconut jellies per day, he's mass-producing the delightful dessert at his shop in Manjung, which not unlike Joez Coconut in Penang, offers tables and seats for those wanting to savour their jellies or coconut drinks there and then.

If you're wondering, what's the BIG fuss about some simple coconut jelly that even the average layman can make? You're wrong. Note that the jelly is not formed outside of the shell. But instead, the jelly is 'injected' INTO the coconut which is still intact, using a specific method utilizing machineries. Then under the extreme low temperature, the jelly is formed WITH the coconut water inside of the young coconut. Almost like a science tutorial, eh? :)

Location : MAE Tendernut Jelly aka Manjung Jelly @ 45, Persiaran PM 2/3, Pusat Bandar Seksyen 2, 32040 Seri Manjung, Perak. Opens daily from 9am til 7pm. Tel No : 605-688 5654 or 6019-416 6603 (Mathy)

Location : Joez Enterprise aka Joez Coconut @ 201, Jalan Dato Kramat, 10150 Pulau Pinang. H/P No : 6016-440 9049. E-mail : joezcoco@yahoo.com.

## Now for ze most evil deed ever known to mankind (in the blogosphere, at least) ... I'm passing this tag to ... Unkaleong! Yeahlah, I know you're BUSY and all, but nah ... too bad! ##

" As Thorny spoke to the Stinky, let's fight to da finish, and see who in ze end, got da Sloppy! Wrestle we will, dropkick/elbowdrop and all, spells we shall cast upon all who stand in our ways ..... but me wanna see da BEST man WINS! "